I Think I Want To Die
Written by Anthony Eugene Ramirez

Chorus:
I think I want to die, but I'm feeling so conflicted.
I'm a Christian, so I'm feeling so convicted.
I think I want to die, feeling hated, feeling different.
Tell the truth, I don't know if I want to live. (2x)

Let me write this letter, to whom it may concern.
If you thought that I was happy, I'm sorry, the table's turned.
I wrestle with my flesh, every day, I'm feeling ugly.
They call me fat and chubby, I laugh, but it ain't funny.

They say that I'm depressed, they can get me on some medicine.
But ain't no medication, can stop from feeling negligent.
I think I want to die, then again I'm feeling hesitant.
I'm fighting all these battles, feeling broken ever since.

So what's with all these feelings, how can I get rid of them.
They say give it to Jesus, and watch yourself be hid in him.
But what they didn't tell me, is that I had to work.
That faith is eternal, and we're temporal on this earth.

So when I let go, and let God, let go of all these check cards.
Removed myself from the equation, and watch everything get hard.
This lifetime is pointless, I want to go home,
But if I kill myself, I'm judged at the throne.

Chorus:
I think I want to die, but I'm feeling so conflicted.
I'm a Christian, so I'm feeling so convicted.
I think I want to die, feeling hated, feeling different.
Tell the truth, I don't know if I want to live. (2x)

Let me write this letter, to whom it may concern.
If you're reading this, there's some news that you've learned.
I'm probably absent from the body, but unaware of my destination.
I fought the good fight, but all the pressure I couldn't take it.

Always feeling like somebody's out to get me.
I hear the devil whisper in my ear, you ain't worth a penny.
I think I started to believe him, cause everyone I see was mean and petty.
All the challenges was heavy, was feeling ready.

I kind of wish I didn't wake up, so I wouldn't have to do this.
Was told the pain in my heart was all excuses.
But they don't feel like I feel, all my problems are my own.
As a Christian, we're taught these thoughts, we can't condone.

But am I still a human, don't disregard my humanity.
these thoughts in my brain, are borderline insanity.
This lifetime is pointless, I want to go home,
But if I kill myself, I'm judged at the throne.


Chorus:
I think I want to die, but I'm feeling so conflicted.
I'm a Christian, so I'm feeling so convicted.
I think I want to die, feeling hated, feeling different.
Tell the truth, I don't know if I want to live. (2x)

To Whom It May Concern, Let me write this letter.
I haven’t been myself, but Praise God, I’m feeling better.
This world is full of madness, designed to keep you broken.
No wonder why these kids are getting high on anything smoking.

I think I’ve been reminded, I’m here, breathing for a purpose.
To remind those that’s struggling like me, it’s all worth it.
And not for what you think, yourself or personal gain.
but to be lost in His Presence, and to know Jesus’ Name.

Cause in his name, there’s power, and deliverance and remission.
The life of being a servant, is an honor and a privilege.
Don’t get twisted, we exist, just for him,
not the other way around, This life is full of pretend.

And it will keep you idle, with a lack of determination.
And feeling worthless inside, fighting for some patience.
This life might seem pointless, yes, we want to go home,
but choose life, and find Peace at his throne.

Chorus:
I think I want to die, but I'm feeling so conflicted.
I'm a Christian, so I'm feeling so convicted.
I think I want to die, feeling hated, feeling different.
Tell the truth, I don't know if I want to live. (2x)